Huge changes…

October 13, 2005 at 5:35 am Leave a comment

 

We were told by our caseworker today that both boy’s caseworker’s want us to only take one of them. Because we had to do it, we made a choice.

We chose Johnny Joe (aka Joshua).

I am sure none of you will be as shocked about it as we are, we would much rather have both of the boys, but that doesn’t seem to be God’s plan. You may be surprised that we chose Joshua, since we have never met him. We have cuddled Will and played with him and bonded with him, and it’s so hard to know that he won’t be ours, but when we think of who we felt, from the beginning, that God wanted for us to have…it’s Joshua. Will is so sweet and and his medical needs seem to be almost non-existent from how they thought he would be. The neurologist even released him at the last visit because he is on target with everything! Joshua on the other hand, is very delayed and on paper looks pretty scary to most people. He is the one who would have the hardest time finding a family, we are the family that is used to what he is like because he is so very similar, in many ways,to my nephew Eli, and he doesn’t scare us. Each time I have been with Eli in the past couple of weeks, I just can’t wait to see Joshua, I think they will be best buds. :-) We were the chosen family from 24 famiies and they chose us because of our experience with Eli, of children with special needs! Trying to make things happen with Will, on the other hand, has always felt like just that, us trying to make it happen. We want him, but when it comes down to the decision, we don’t feel as strongly that he is the one God has chosen for us.

I am sad, but in a strange way I feel more at peace than I have in quite a while, almost a feeling of relief. I will miss Will’s smile, and laugh and bright happy eyes though. I know that God has a very special family out there though, that must be the ones that He desires for William’s forever family.

We are probably going to do the presentation for Joshua on Wednesday the 19th and then go to Austin on the 21st as was originally planned, before all the plans went haywire earlier this week. We are excited to go and meet Joshua, finally!

Love one another~Adrienne

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Entry filed under: Journey to Joshua.

Confused… The baby shower…

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Me & Hubby:
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Christine & Joshua
Cay and Joshua

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