March 20, 2007 at 11:41 pm 5 comments

I have had such a difficult time, even thinking of writing this post, so please forgive me if you have been expectantly waiting on an update. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting…I did e-mail many of my readers to let them know what has happened, but I do realize the rest of you are unaware and may be wondering what happened after we left to bring Violet home.

After meeting Violet, spending the weekend with her, and bringing her home with us for a couple of days, we made a very difficult decision…we decided to not go forward with adopting her. We felt it was the best thing for our children already in our home and for Violet. I can’t say that there was any one thing that was wrong to make us decide that, but I can say that I felt it, in my spirit, that it was not the right choice for us as a family. With many, many tears we told her caseworker that it just wasn’t the right fit, timing, the right thing for any of the kids, two of whom need so much because of special needs…I don’t know what exactly, but not right, and she understood. She understood, amazingly. I truly never thought I could do such a thing, it was hard, it was painfully sad, I am still grieving…but it was the right choice.

Violet went back to her foster home a week ago today, and believe me when I say, she was quite happy to tell us good-bye, and go to see her “mama” and “daddy” and siblings that she has known and attached to so strongly. It was like a little weekend get-a-way and then she went back to what she knew. I am thankful for her foster family, who showers her with so much love, and has nurtured her through her hurts. They are very loving and patient with her and have a real gift for helping hurting children to begin to heal before they move on to their new forever families. Violet is their 38th foster child! God bless their efforts!! I have to say that a part of me really wishes that they would adopt little Violet, I wished it even before we went down there, because they are the only people she has ever attached to in her life. I know though, that the Lord has a plan for Violet, a path that is hers, one that I cannot see, but the Lord can see it and from His view it is beautiful, it is orderly, not the messy, broken one that I see. Briefly, our lives connected, were intertwined in His tapestry, He knows why, He has a divine plan.

Psalm 34:1-10
1 [a] I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame

6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

It was an extremely difficult decision, one of the hardest I’ve ever had to make. A friend wrote to me, “God’s ways can be hard, but I do know that He helps our hearts to follow along on His path”… not always an easy path, but all we can do is faithfully continue down the path that we believe that He has for us.

I am very thankful for all of you who have called or e-mailed with your prayers and words of encouragment!  Your words have been very soothing to my heart and spirit!

I will continue to work through this, just please know that your prayers are appreciated, even coveted, for my family, but mainly for Violet. There is still a home out there waiting for her, a mom and dad who have had the desire put into their hearts to help and to love a little girl…

Continue to love one another!~Yvonne


Entry filed under: Adoption, Random.

Camping and Violet update… I love my guys!

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Randi  |  March 21, 2007 at 7:19 am

    Oh gosh, I am leaving you some hugs in this comment box, Yvonne! And some prayers…

  • 2. Christy  |  March 21, 2007 at 8:15 am

    I’ve been checking in on you and figured you were overwhelmed … didn’t realize HOW overwhelmed you were. My heart goes out to you, Yvonne, and to little Violet. Your blog post was lovely, filled with wisdom. I know you paid a price for that wisdom, but as you mentioned, we have faith that God’s plan is perfect and wonderful even if it seems messy to us.

    Sending hugs your way and warm prayers up to our Heavenly Father on your behalf. And for Violet, too.

  • 3. randomcontemplations  |  March 21, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    Hugs back to you Randi and Christy! Thank you very much!

  • 4. Charity  |  March 28, 2007 at 7:54 am

    I am so sorry to hear this, I know how difficult that must have been for you and your family!


  • 5. beth  |  March 30, 2007 at 11:27 am

    Wow, what a tough, pivotal decision to have to make, but it sounds like you did right by those you love. Way to be sensitive to His still, small voice within you! I’m so sorry though, for I can imagine how emotionally and spiritually draining it all must be. I hope that you can find rest in knowing that grieving over the right decision now is much better than grieving over the wrong one later.
    Many blessings to you all, and prayers for ya~


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